My Secret (Anita’s story)

Hello, I’m Anita (not my real name) and here’s my story:

“I got married reasonably early-I was 19 and by the time I was 24, I already had 4 kids, (3 boys and a girl). When we got married, my husband promised I would go back to school, that I would go to the university, but even me I know I don’t have the mind for school again.

When I got married,  I told myself, I wanted to do “quick-quick and born all of them” then go to the university and continue my life, but after four children I have become tired. My husband does not help with picking children from school or their homework or even settling their fights. He just watches his TV, chats on his phone, and then comes to bed to ‘sex’ me. See, it’s not like I’m complaining, I know he’s a good man. He is rich and provides for his family, but as an African man, he feels children are women’s work and has told me that I should stop complaining.

When I became pregnant for the 5th time, I knew I was in hot soup, I just couldn’t take it again., I cried like a baby. My husband was happy; he said his late mother had 9 children, so 5 children ‘sef’ is small. I never met his mother, but something tells me she was as unhappy as I am.

After my 5th baby:

I asked the nurse quietly after all the visitors had gone. “what can I do?” and then I just started to cry. She did not hesitate to explain different contraceptive options to me because she said she had been watching me. Watching me! Why were you watching me? She says she does not want to interfere with my family. I burst into fresh tears and cried till she was begging me to stop. When I left the hospital, I was armed with my 3month contraceptive injection.

How I keep my secret safe:

My husband is still expecting child number six to enter and so whenever he suspects me, I remind him that our doctor said I had a difficult delivery and that it is still affecting me. This contraceptive injection is my precious secret and I will protect it till I am very old and can’t ‘born’ again. Me that if I get pregnant again, I think I might run mad. This is the only way i know to save myself because I cannot come and die and allow another woman to raise my kids for me or let my rich husband use the opportunity of my death to marry a younger woman.

What do you think about Anita’s secret? Should she tell her husband? Are you hiding a similar secret?

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